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The beginning of the new school year can prompt excitement for many children, but others may feel nervous and worried about entering or returning to school.

“Anxiety disorders are among the most common psychiatric conditions in kids,” said Emily O’Gorman, child psychologist at U.Va. Health; the 11% of children ages 3 to 17 have current, diagnosed anxiety.

However, nervousness about the school year is very common and doesn’t last long, O’Gorman said.

“Back-to-school anxiety, specifically, we think of as subclinical, meaning it doesn’t actually warrant a diagnosis,” she said.

“I think about both excitement and anxiety about back to school as developmentally normative,” O’Gorman said. “For most kids, I would say back-to-school anxiety isn’t a sign that something’s wrong, it’s just a sign that they’re paying attention to something new.”

The reasons why children feel anxious is often related to their age, O’Gorman said.

“Younger children, like preschool or early elementary, would often experience anxiety over separation from a caregiver,” she said. For older children, “Big transitions, like to middle or high school, or having a friend move, tend to bring up that back-to-school anxiety.”

As for symptoms? “Things like stomach aches and headaches, trouble sleeping,” O’Gorman said.

“I will say if those are persisting or becoming a consistent pattern, it’s probably worth a pediatrician visit to just rule out anything medical, before assuming anxiety” is the cause.

Some emotional or behavioral signs might be bedtime resistance, “or repeated questions about logistics, like ‘will you be there to pick me up,’ or ‘what time will you be there,'” suggesting that the child would appreciate some reassurance.

Other signs might be clinginess, irritability or tantrums.

“Sometimes things look like defiance, even though they’re actually driven by anxiety,” she said.

How to help when child has back-to-school anxiety

Parents can play a big role in soothing a child’s nerves, but also helping the child feel empowered.

“We want parents to listen calmly,” about their child feeling anxious, O’Gorman said. “We want parents to validate the emotion, and also reinforce the child’s ability to cope, even if or when they’re anxious.”

While a parent’s instinct might be to tell their child there’s nothing to feel anxious about, that’s not helpful.

“The formula for supporting an anxious child is acceptance plus confidence,” she said.

A parent might say, “I know your stomach hurts and you feel nervous. I also know that you’ve got this,” O’Gorman suggested.

“It has the acceptance of the feeling, but also the confidence that they can handle it.”

For positive reinforcement, “Praise the brave behavior, saying something like, ‘You did a great job going straight into school this morning,’ or ‘I saw you find your friends at school — that was such a great idea.'”

Anxiety is driven by avoidance, but letting a child stay home from school deprives a child of a crucial life lesson, O’Gorman said.

“When we let kids avoid doing something they’re anxious about, we take away their opportunity to learn that it’s not so bad, or even if it is just as bad as they thought, that they’re still capable of getting through it.”

Practicing ahead of time what will happen on the first day of school can be helpful: “Things like shifting bedtime and wake time, rehearsing the morning routine, visiting the school, meeting the teacher.”

While most people have heard that anxiety can be contagious, O’Gorman said confidence can be contagious, too.

“Kids pick up on how calm their parents are, and if parents can model confidence, it helps kids approach things with confidence, too,” O’Gorman said.

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